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Sunday, November 04, 2007
You got swerved! Because of Moonie, i've moooved too. I'm writing here now: http://swerved.wordpress.com/ Yeah fine, i'm kaypo! Burgundaisy shall stay preserved here. She has every right to reside here in the cyberworld. Sleep tight, Burg. fara // 23:13 Friday, November 02, 2007 november blues Every month i always forget to save up. Every month i make resolutions - to save, to scrimp, to survive. But every month my feet bring me to the bookshop despite my violent objections and i'll emerge from the shop with a wonderful new book. I cannot understand the concept of borrowing. If i could, my feet would have brought me to the library instead. Also, i think it's the idea of possession that tempts me. I like owning those books i've bought. And most times i don't remember what books i've read from the library but i recollect stories in fragments. It annoys me when i don't even recall the author or the title at least. So... for this month, i got me a Mitch Albom and a Paul Coelho. I'm going to throw the receipt away and peel off the price stickers at the back of the books. I chose to break my resolution, and i chose to live in denial. As they say here... money come, money go. fara // 22:01 Monday, October 29, 2007 but if you're trapped in a glass bubble... Something i didn't want to happen, happened. I took another sick leave today, and that'd be a grand total of five days i've been away from work (silently exclaiming "Yes!"). Lest i had unconsciously painted myself as a hypochondriac , i'll just make it clear that i really had been pooping three, four times every 30 minutes , been retching like a pregnant woman with morning sickness, but i couldn't be pregnant even if my tummy is suspiciously bulging out because i had menstrual cramps too so nope, not pregnant. And i'd been down with migraine. Yes, i forgot to add that to the 3-in-1 combo. Today saw the remnants of it all. Some diarrhoea, mild headache... But it was enough to make me sick enough to stay home.Dr Wong offered, "MC? Two days?" (Yes pleeease..?) But no, i graciously refused, refuting that an extra day of rest would be much too excessive. Liar, liar, pants on fire. To which, Mom and Dad tsk-ed. "You want me to kick you? He gave you two days, just take it!" Straight from the horses' mouth. Min texted me earlier. She's down with eczema. Status: One day sick leave. Dys texted me too, only to ask me to check her schedule for this week. Min said she's got "red eye". Conjunctivitis again, i suppose. Status: Referred to Eye Centre. Sick leave x ? days. People would be talking - all three junior orthopaedic nurses are down on the same day. Can you hear it, what does it say? I'm trying hard not to think about it but i'm really going back to work tomorrow. It didn't start out bad, but it's going the wrong way now. Test of faith is necessary, just as bad days are inevitable. But nasty attitudes? Now those are redundant. But those are the very things that exist in surplus, and which sets the tone for the rest of the time i'm there among the seniors. Halim said the mind is a powerful tool, far more than twenty ill-will, foul-tempered people at my workplace. But this constant battle is tiring me out, having to psych myself everytime before i step into the hospital. I'm staying just to serve the bond. Since time flies when you're enjoying yourself, then i'd probably have to do the unthinkable and psych myself into enjoying this work (the horror!), just so three years will be gone in the blink of an eye. Where i'd be going after that is nobody's guess, but where i'd ended up at is another matter altogether. I plan, God decide. I pray, God listens. I hope, money will fall into my lap. I wish. I have about ten hours of rest before i make my grand re-entrance tomorrow. And six days to Thomday. Thomday, another godsend. Hopefully a stepping stone too. Insya'Allah. fara // 17:05 Thursday, October 25, 2007 sick (Just a random pic. This is Qaiser, my little cousin. He's the cutest nugget! F'course my brother Ihin is cute too but he's a big boy now.)God shows His love to us in a million ways. One way is in the form of a 3-in-1 package - diarrhoea, nausea, menstrual cramps. Which i'm currently having. Obviously incapacitated, i took my maiden medical leave from work, after only three months. Dr Wong, another godsend: "Go rest for two days okay." Oh yes sir! Two working days of rest (bliss) followed by a day of annual leave (randomly picked - double bliss) and a rest day on Sunday. That's four days straight of almost heaven. These ailments? Are nothing but pure blessings in disguise. My head is still spinning like a battery-operated spinning top. The world is a blur, and it hurts to look at things. Colours are suddenly too vivid. So bright and sharp they put HD TVs to shame. It doesn't help when i close my eyes for abit to let the colours tame down. It doesn't help when i shut out the light with my curtains and lie down for hours to forcibly sleep. I couldn't sleep. It's worse than insomnia and vertigo. Thankfully the too-frequent trips to the toilet has stopped significantly. One more trip to the loo and i'll be a certified Poo Factory. So what happened? Sounds like food poisoning to me but honestly, i don't know. Just too glad to be away from work. Too, too glad. Seeing the same people everyday, two hundred of them, can make you go crazier than staring at pink for too long. Just one thing i still am not able to comprehend and will probably never learn to - how could some people just be so plain nasty? fara // 21:30 Sunday, October 07, 2007 All i ever ask for was a pair of ears to listen to me when i get too unbearable for my own ears. But i usually get more than what i bargained for. But this time, they've got my order wrong. And so i'm left stranded on an island going the way of Atlantis. With my blog in tow. fara // 01:17 Friday, October 05, 2007 full of... rubbish I'm changing my blog add to http://plaintastic.blogspot.com/ in about... one week from now. I'm imagining people read my blog and will cry a river if they realise the current http://burgundaisy.blogspot.com/ is no longer in service. Heh. I don't even know why there's a need to do this. But it's the same as wanting to change your hair colour every three months or something. 'Cept that, i don't change mine. Then again, i might change my mind about changing the URL. But what's more likely to happen is that i'd just plainly forget. fara // 22:41 Thursday, September 27, 2007 Hold on tight, you know she's a little bit dangerous... I'm pretty easy to please, but i get bored easily. My mind is still slightly out of focus, despite my numerous attempts to get back down to earth. Just whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat is wrong with me? I can't function, i can't work. Just give me the money already. fara // 21:15 Monday, September 24, 2007 F! Mother of all turds. My computer's getting more ailments that i could imagine. As with the norms for computer goondus, i made several wrong clicks and heyyyy here i'm having new-found threats for my good 'ol computer! This stupid mistake is akin to my acts of clumsiness at work. The degree of stupidity escalates, as my brain degenerates together with my (dis)ability to foresee and anticipate any troubles. Hence i knock over things, spill water over the sterile trolley, fumble with operating instruments, et-blardy-cetera. I'm amazed at how bloody dumb i could be sometimes. Not to mention stubborn, having repeated the same... friggin'... mistakes... again. Why don't i just offer myself to a pack of wild dogs so they could rip me apart; alive. What now? I'm running a full scan. As it is, the computer's infected with some Roman thingy. Or i think it said Trojan, at the back. Backdoor Trojan. Okay i really don't know. Get better soon, Computer, please. I'm going nuts. This is relatively worse than having to scrub for big bad mean surgeons. Speaking of which, i need to sleep in early in order to be bright and sunshiny tomorrow. I doubt i could, especially with f dkf sfiseesoro trutydri tos tsettr i hate this la hello. kns. fara // 21:46 Friday, September 14, 2007 How quickly the hands run past the numbers on the clock. Almost impatient, almost desperate. Been set on immersing myself in dread and in the deadness of work that i didn't realise it's Friday already. Yay to the weekend. Weekend will slide past me stealthily and then HELLO BLOODY MONDAY! Once again, all over again. Oh. Sigh. I came here to type a decent entry. 5 minutes later, i'm a goner. Just like when i sleep while showering, while shitting, in the cab to work, during break times... ok goodnight. Bye. fara // 22:24 Monday, September 10, 2007 babibats Aiya my biggest nightmare is coming true. My stomach is bigger than my breasts and i'm not exaggerating. You're thinking, how's that possible? But i tell you it's true. Don't expect me to provide pictorial evidence unless you want to be bulimic and start vomiting out you last meal. And next time you see me, don't talk to my stomach okay. It will cry. When i sit down and slouch, the newly-acquired tummy roll sticks out prominently like some distinguished guest in a conference. I imagine taking a garden cutter and trimming it off my girth. It's okay, the wounds will heal. Scars will form. But no longer will i have a roll of blubber. I should start worshipping Nicole Richie all over again. fara // 22:03 Thursday, September 06, 2007 Okay it's like this. I've gained weight. I can't suck my tummy in anymore. I've acquired another layer of tummy roll which sticks out like a sore thumb no matter how much i try to suck my tummy in. Ain't working. Far more depressing than having a surgeon screaming in my face, telling me not to 'stay in my own world'. He's lucky he wasn't aware that i had a mallet in my hand and that i could actually have it thrown to his head before i could stop myself. (: But all's well when it's bedtime. Like right now. Goodnight! fara // 22:21 Sunday, August 26, 2007 fish I like Fridays 'cause it's so near to the weekend. I like Saturdays 'cause it's a half working day for me. I like Sundays only right up til 6pm 'cause after that the hours fly by so fast it's already Monday before i realise it. I hate Mondays 'cause it's the beginning of the week. Beginning of the week means it's a long way til the weekend. I spend my seven days thinking about this. You know they told me i've got to be thick-skinned to survive in this department. But i think some people took this advice a little too seriously. Instead of resilience, they've developed self-pride in excess, narcissism, delusions of grandeur, and the likes. Sounds harsh to my ears even, but truth has to be told. Tomorrow's MONDAY. Mygod. fara // 13:36 Saturday, August 18, 2007 jangan marah ye kak. nanti lekas tuek! ![]() I was, and still am, so disgusted at myself for not remembering Shidd's twentieth birthday. My own Makcik-in-crime, you know. Moonie, i bet you've forgotten as well. (: So.......... we owe this little pixie a birthday treat hor (come payday, heh). And God forbid i forget Moonie's birthday come October; this other Makcik of mine. Anyway, i hope you enjoyed yourself today, little girl. Aren't impromptu meetups such lovely things? Especially for bumblebeebusy new members of the nursing workforce like us. ![]() We're missing one Makcik here. Now where is she...? fara // 19:20 Wednesday, August 15, 2007 grouse II I'm starting to live, breathe, eat, sleep, drink OT. In the shower, when i start lathering with the bath foam, i would automatically do fifteen counts for every body part that i slather with the bath foam. When i'm putting on clothes, i'd take absolute care to not let them touch the walls or cupboard or anyone else. When i wash the dishes, and i happened to have some kitchen knives among the load, i'd start looking for a sharps box to discard the sharp items. This won't do... i'm going loonie. I owe several people replies to their text messages, and meetups, and a harddisk. I owe the Library several books and fines. I owe my body essential nutrients - have been fasting and haven't been eating like a normal human being. I owe myself many hours of rest and sleep. I owe my department checklist several signatures from my preceptor. Can't anybody write them all off? You know, in every show there's the protagonist. And then there's the antagonist. Sometimes you call her: The Bitch. In my drama, we have her. The one with an intelligence quotient far above average and emotional intelligence far below average. The kind of character you think only exists on the telly. Til today, i still believe she's part human, part goondu. With no sense of respect for anyone at all and if you think she pays her dues to the elders or those with higher designations like a N u r s i n g M a n a g e r, you're already fooled. Because Little Miss Impossible is nothing but a rotten spoilt brat. It's amazing how she gets the important people to be fond of her, and people who don't have anything significant to offer her, gets the dirty treatment. Oh, how she steps all over our heads and stabs us sweetly in the back. And when people that matter are present, the veil drops over her face and voila! You see the People's Lady, the favourite pet, the gifted one, the chosen one, What she did exactly would be shared with you on another day. An ultimate disgrace to humankind, for sure. Good night for now. fara // 21:10 Friday, August 10, 2007 grouse When i was ten, when i had to go for a tonsillectomy, i thought surgical operations were so cool. Like they make you sleep, slice you up, remove whatever, stitch you up and yay you're a rag doll now. Like who the hell came up with such ingenious ideas man? Haw haw. That's David Blaine for an impressionable young kid. Now a whole decade has passed. I'm twenty and am a perioperative nurse. And GOD WHO THE FISH CAME UP WITH THE IDEA OF SURGERIES AND... SURGEONS! Life's got a whacked sense of humour. Full circle, my foot. fara // 22:01 |