Thursday, January 11, 2007
First '07 post. First kia!
It's been a pretty good year. I don't know which year i'm referring to actually, i don't quite feel the transition from '06 to '07. Heck, i don't even have a New Year's entry. So let's just take it that i'm referring to life in general, everyday stuff.
I'm taking things a little too easily, just because i have an inexplicable fear of big changes. Nonchalance as a facade, see. When reality finally sinks in, only then will you see my eyes widening and glazed over, and mouth gaping, and my whole body almost paralysed. Count right up to fifteen seconds and i'll launch into a screaming banshee. I'll wear my what-the-hell-happened-to-my-life look for awhile, say, a few weeks. Most of the time, i'll be fine after that. I can be flexible if i want to. Other times, i'll keep looking like a disorientated person who's been to the future and then back to the past and stuck there.
Things happened. What things, Fara? You're so ambiguous, y'know. Tell! Well uh... big, life-changing events. Like almost losing my ability to trust people and then regaining it back. Like making near-future plans which involves only ME and family and then having to make little changes to accomodate a few other people. Why yes, i'm still being vague. Maybe i need my tongue to be forcefully pulled out so i can wag.
Secondly, if this is really the second point i'm making - i hardly count, and my thoughts take flight all the time, so - secondly... i'll be graduating in a few months'! IF God is kind and IF the lecturers are even kinder! Tell me why exams make me depressed.Thirdly (i don't know why i'm still counting since it doesn't help anyway), i need to tame myself down. Too young, too brash, too carefree, too selfish, too temporary, too fleeting, too hazardous, too idealistic, too... fara. Not that there's anything wrong in being a fara. But i'm not helping myself if i remain obstinate and refuse to swim with the current.
Fourthly (still counting, dammit), i must have lost the blogging touch. I'm taking a really long time to type these thoughts out. And even then, they're basically one-liners. Or not.
Frustratingggg. I'll come back and write more alright. Take care, all!
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fara // 23:59
First '07 post. First kia!
It's been a pretty good year. I don't know which year i'm referring to actually, i don't quite feel the transition from '06 to '07. Heck, i don't even have a New Year's entry. So let's just take it that i'm referring to life in general, everyday stuff.
I'm taking things a little too easily, just because i have an inexplicable fear of big changes. Nonchalance as a facade, see. When reality finally sinks in, only then will you see my eyes widening and glazed over, and mouth gaping, and my whole body almost paralysed. Count right up to fifteen seconds and i'll launch into a screaming banshee. I'll wear my what-the-hell-happened-to-my-life look for awhile, say, a few weeks. Most of the time, i'll be fine after that. I can be flexible if i want to. Other times, i'll keep looking like a disorientated person who's been to the future and then back to the past and stuck there.
Things happened. What things, Fara? You're so ambiguous, y'know. Tell! Well uh... big, life-changing events. Like almost losing my ability to trust people and then regaining it back. Like making near-future plans which involves only ME and family and then having to make little changes to accomodate a few other people. Why yes, i'm still being vague. Maybe i need my tongue to be forcefully pulled out so i can wag.
Secondly, if this is really the second point i'm making - i hardly count, and my thoughts take flight all the time, so - secondly... i'll be graduating in a few months'! IF God is kind and IF the lecturers are even kinder! Tell me why exams make me depressed.Thirdly (i don't know why i'm still counting since it doesn't help anyway), i need to tame myself down. Too young, too brash, too carefree, too selfish, too temporary, too fleeting, too hazardous, too idealistic, too... fara. Not that there's anything wrong in being a fara. But i'm not helping myself if i remain obstinate and refuse to swim with the current.
Fourthly (still counting, dammit), i must have lost the blogging touch. I'm taking a really long time to type these thoughts out. And even then, they're basically one-liners. Or not.
Frustratingggg. I'll come back and write more alright. Take care, all!
fara // 23:59
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