Thursday, November 09, 2006
i hope you dance
Haha false alarm. Thanks for the concern, concerned ones.. but really, i'd be the last person to take up smoking. 40% of all the fights i have with Dad is over his smoking habits and my intolerance for cigarette smoke. And er, my concern over his health too, ah yes f'course.
Cheryl's away for a course back at campus, Chicken's having her day off so after months of not being left alone in the ward, i'm doing it again. Sure i have two other classmates around but it's different. It's a new place here, a different place from where i'm usually accustomed to, what with the many menopausal staff. Compared to the other wards i've been to back at my usual hospital, this place is almost.. normal. Civilized? The Sisters respect even us students, with a ready smile long before we even spot them walking towards our direction. Say hello and they'd oblige with an equally warm greeting and a smile. I'm not sure if i could even count the number of other nursing officers with similar attitudes. My direct supervising staff nurse is decent too... sweet even. The other staff people are just as helpful.. and generous in imparting knowledge, unless of course they're busy.
But the main reason i'm able to put up a sunshiney disposition has to be my darling patients themselves. Maybe someday i'll tell you about the nenek who refuses to eat because she knows if she defecate later in her diapers, she needs to be cleaned and she hates the thought of troubling me (she hugs and kisses me and says she sayangggg me); and the other nenek who likes to hide her face behind her twinkle-twinkle cushion when she refuses to eat anymore or makes me catch her cushion and then pulling it away just in time for me to miss it and then laughs at me; and the auntie who uses Hokkien + Mandarin + English + Malay in one conversation but denies knowing any English ("No! I don't know English!") and tells me i should go buy 4D because of my teeth (yeah la it's crooked and all) and i should keep it shush if i want my luck to continue and to keep money for myself even when i've found a man because she went to Mainland with money she's saved up and married her love there and he cheated on her with multiple high school girls and even her children are not around to see her and then she looks at me as if she's just noticed me for the first time and asked if im Hua Ren but i said no i'm Ma Lai Ren and she touched my face and said i'm heh pretty (heh heh) so i replied that she's hen mei and then she looked at me sadly; and... oooh it gets me all excited and warm talking about every single one of them! I'm seeing them one more time tomorrow before i excuse myself to enjoy the weekend. Oh, my lecturer who got struck by lightning once, said i was hardworking. But my tardiness (i was late for three days straight) could pull my marks down for lack of professionalism. I had to include this just to comfort myself because once upon a time, i was an eternal sunshine optimist, loving every single day in the ward. And then my confidence was robbed. It took a toll on me and my everything. I believed my friends took me as i am and i wasn't able to tell them i needed help. So part of who i am now is an evolution of fara the fara. I can't find her, so i'm making the best of what i'm left with now. Just fara.
The glass vase is broken. So shattered beyond repair. That's all i meant to say actually.
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fara // 20:46
i hope you dance
Haha false alarm. Thanks for the concern, concerned ones.. but really, i'd be the last person to take up smoking. 40% of all the fights i have with Dad is over his smoking habits and my intolerance for cigarette smoke. And er, my concern over his health too, ah yes f'course.
Cheryl's away for a course back at campus, Chicken's having her day off so after months of not being left alone in the ward, i'm doing it again. Sure i have two other classmates around but it's different. It's a new place here, a different place from where i'm usually accustomed to, what with the many menopausal staff. Compared to the other wards i've been to back at my usual hospital, this place is almost.. normal. Civilized? The Sisters respect even us students, with a ready smile long before we even spot them walking towards our direction. Say hello and they'd oblige with an equally warm greeting and a smile. I'm not sure if i could even count the number of other nursing officers with similar attitudes. My direct supervising staff nurse is decent too... sweet even. The other staff people are just as helpful.. and generous in imparting knowledge, unless of course they're busy.
But the main reason i'm able to put up a sunshiney disposition has to be my darling patients themselves. Maybe someday i'll tell you about the nenek who refuses to eat because she knows if she defecate later in her diapers, she needs to be cleaned and she hates the thought of troubling me (she hugs and kisses me and says she sayangggg me); and the other nenek who likes to hide her face behind her twinkle-twinkle cushion when she refuses to eat anymore or makes me catch her cushion and then pulling it away just in time for me to miss it and then laughs at me; and the auntie who uses Hokkien + Mandarin + English + Malay in one conversation but denies knowing any English ("No! I don't know English!") and tells me i should go buy 4D because of my teeth (yeah la it's crooked and all) and i should keep it shush if i want my luck to continue and to keep money for myself even when i've found a man because she went to Mainland with money she's saved up and married her love there and he cheated on her with multiple high school girls and even her children are not around to see her and then she looks at me as if she's just noticed me for the first time and asked if im Hua Ren but i said no i'm Ma Lai Ren and she touched my face and said i'm heh pretty (heh heh) so i replied that she's hen mei and then she looked at me sadly; and... oooh it gets me all excited and warm talking about every single one of them! I'm seeing them one more time tomorrow before i excuse myself to enjoy the weekend. Oh, my lecturer who got struck by lightning once, said i was hardworking. But my tardiness (i was late for three days straight) could pull my marks down for lack of professionalism. I had to include this just to comfort myself because once upon a time, i was an eternal sunshine optimist, loving every single day in the ward. And then my confidence was robbed. It took a toll on me and my everything. I believed my friends took me as i am and i wasn't able to tell them i needed help. So part of who i am now is an evolution of fara the fara. I can't find her, so i'm making the best of what i'm left with now. Just fara.
The glass vase is broken. So shattered beyond repair. That's all i meant to say actually.
Don't let some Hell bent heart leave you bitter.
fara // 20:46
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♥ Fara. Forever20. Nurse. In the pursuit of kidnapping Happy.
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