Thursday, October 12, 2006
one for the number
I don't know why but my blog entries are all about me. I don't even know how to spell narcissistic. Did i spell it right? I'm better at spelling than at grammar; i'm better at grammar than at vocabulary; i'm better at vocabulary than at addressing a nice, normal issue which has little or nothing about me.
The whole paragraph above is about me, yes, i realized.
But in the weeks to come, i envision lengthy entries about the impending exams, the battle to stay alive despite the intensive slit-throat revision; the usual annual rants about Eid; attachment experience in a rehab hospital, the emergency department, the operating theatre and the accompanying fatigue. Fatigue! Die.. As it is, i fall asleep wherever and whenever. Additional tiredness would not help in anything.
The whole paragraph above is about me complaining. As usual. Yes, i realized.
Today i broke my fast with a piece of croissant chicken sandwich from Delifrance. I was already feeling guilty all the way from J8 right to the debate room, where we had our dinner. I was still feeling guilty while biting into the sandwich. Here i am sinking my teeth into a sandwich with fat chunks of chicken and way too much nutrients for me and images of hungry children kept flashing in my mind, relentlessly. To continue eating or not continue eating? That was the damn question plaguing my mind. Every bite i take, i imagine one bite of food less for the children. It's like i'm taking the damn sandwich away from them. I don't know, my mind's warped like that. If i stopped eating, my food will seek shelter in the garbage bin. Terrible! I couldn't afford to waste any morsel of food. With every piece that i discard, i imagine one more child being denied of food. I can't help it, i really can't! As it turned out, i ate it all up. Even the cup of soup of cream chicken/chicken cream soup/creamy soup with chicken/chicken+soup=creamy wasn't wasted. I decided that, since i was greedy and bought the whole set, it's only right i finish it all up. I'm so sorry, kids... i won't eat anymore tomorrow.
I'm wishing for the day when people do not need to say anything to understand one another. Utter psychics. Just like when my sister and i face each other with nary a telltale facial expression and i'm thinking, "Stop reading my mind!" and she replies with, "Well, so are you."
Shudders. That's cool shit, i tell you! But freaky.
(My tummy is sticking out and taunting me. All the chicken i greedily ate...)
--------------------------------------------------------
fara // 01:42
one for the number
I don't know why but my blog entries are all about me. I don't even know how to spell narcissistic. Did i spell it right? I'm better at spelling than at grammar; i'm better at grammar than at vocabulary; i'm better at vocabulary than at addressing a nice, normal issue which has little or nothing about me.
The whole paragraph above is about me, yes, i realized.
But in the weeks to come, i envision lengthy entries about the impending exams, the battle to stay alive despite the intensive slit-throat revision; the usual annual rants about Eid; attachment experience in a rehab hospital, the emergency department, the operating theatre and the accompanying fatigue. Fatigue! Die.. As it is, i fall asleep wherever and whenever. Additional tiredness would not help in anything.
The whole paragraph above is about me complaining. As usual. Yes, i realized.
Today i broke my fast with a piece of croissant chicken sandwich from Delifrance. I was already feeling guilty all the way from J8 right to the debate room, where we had our dinner. I was still feeling guilty while biting into the sandwich. Here i am sinking my teeth into a sandwich with fat chunks of chicken and way too much nutrients for me and images of hungry children kept flashing in my mind, relentlessly. To continue eating or not continue eating? That was the damn question plaguing my mind. Every bite i take, i imagine one bite of food less for the children. It's like i'm taking the damn sandwich away from them. I don't know, my mind's warped like that. If i stopped eating, my food will seek shelter in the garbage bin. Terrible! I couldn't afford to waste any morsel of food. With every piece that i discard, i imagine one more child being denied of food. I can't help it, i really can't! As it turned out, i ate it all up. Even the cup of soup of cream chicken/chicken cream soup/creamy soup with chicken/chicken+soup=creamy wasn't wasted. I decided that, since i was greedy and bought the whole set, it's only right i finish it all up. I'm so sorry, kids... i won't eat anymore tomorrow.
I'm wishing for the day when people do not need to say anything to understand one another. Utter psychics. Just like when my sister and i face each other with nary a telltale facial expression and i'm thinking, "Stop reading my mind!" and she replies with, "Well, so are you."
Shudders. That's cool shit, i tell you! But freaky.
(My tummy is sticking out and taunting me. All the chicken i greedily ate...)
fara // 01:42
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♥ Fara. Forever20. Nurse. In the pursuit of kidnapping Happy.
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