Thursday, April 06, 2006
dynamics
My parents like to tiptoe around touchy issues. Instead of protesting in anger or embarrassment or disagreement and anywhere along those lines, i decide it's best to rack my brains and provide a half-mature reply to their incessant questionings.
Now i don't know how they get these ideas that this daughter of theirs is naive and gullible. Well maybe it's true to a certain degree but i think a more appropriate description would be that i'm not very worldly. Why so? Well because i've led a sheltered life all of my almost-nineteen years of existance. Safe and stupid, for the lack of a better phrasing. I have limited contact with the world outside and although it seems like i'm complaining, i have to count my blessings too. I'd never have known safety and security if the parents hadn't placed a metal umbrella over my head.
Having said that, i do sometimes wish to get out of this secret sacred garden and just poke around y'know... check out how the trees are being grown beyond the gates, on the other side.
But seriously. Take some risks, Mom and Dad, and you'll see that your daughter here has developed some sense of maturity. I will probably forever be an ingenue in their eyes and thus they feel a compelling need to place a huge banana leaf over my head. I won't fight for freedom anymore, you gave me more than i need. I won't fight with you anymore for personal space, i realize it's too selfish of me to do so. I won't upset you unnecessarily, i mean, i did mean stuff to you when i was wee, so it's your turns now?
And no Mom and Dad, you can be assured that i'll take care of my maruah for i hold my self-worth up high; i'm aware of my connections in the family; of the label across my forehead that spells things which people can read but i can't; of the fact that i'm a Muslim girl; a daughter/granddaughter/sister/a member of the Malay-Muslim society and all that. Yes it's all very suffocating and i'd very much like a break from all the obligations and responsibilities but i know you mean well. I won't promise perfection, but i'll try for the better.
Worry less, okay. And oh, i won't be gallivanting around with different boys every weekend. Good God, what were you two thinking? I hardly date, sheesh.
And since i'm at it, why not come clean as well yeah? I'm antisocial by nature and nurture. I'm sorely introverted, and my parents restrict my social activities. So much that i can't be bothered to even care to protest. So if i decline your invitation for a class reunion or gathering or a simple get-together or a lunch date or anything of that nature, please do just zippit and keep your questions in okay.
I can't please my parents, peers and myself all at the same time. It's just mind-boggling.
--------------------------------------------------------
fara // 23:41
dynamics
My parents like to tiptoe around touchy issues. Instead of protesting in anger or embarrassment or disagreement and anywhere along those lines, i decide it's best to rack my brains and provide a half-mature reply to their incessant questionings.
Now i don't know how they get these ideas that this daughter of theirs is naive and gullible. Well maybe it's true to a certain degree but i think a more appropriate description would be that i'm not very worldly. Why so? Well because i've led a sheltered life all of my almost-nineteen years of existance. Safe and stupid, for the lack of a better phrasing. I have limited contact with the world outside and although it seems like i'm complaining, i have to count my blessings too. I'd never have known safety and security if the parents hadn't placed a metal umbrella over my head.
Having said that, i do sometimes wish to get out of this secret sacred garden and just poke around y'know... check out how the trees are being grown beyond the gates, on the other side.
But seriously. Take some risks, Mom and Dad, and you'll see that your daughter here has developed some sense of maturity. I will probably forever be an ingenue in their eyes and thus they feel a compelling need to place a huge banana leaf over my head. I won't fight for freedom anymore, you gave me more than i need. I won't fight with you anymore for personal space, i realize it's too selfish of me to do so. I won't upset you unnecessarily, i mean, i did mean stuff to you when i was wee, so it's your turns now?
And no Mom and Dad, you can be assured that i'll take care of my maruah for i hold my self-worth up high; i'm aware of my connections in the family; of the label across my forehead that spells things which people can read but i can't; of the fact that i'm a Muslim girl; a daughter/granddaughter/sister/a member of the Malay-Muslim society and all that. Yes it's all very suffocating and i'd very much like a break from all the obligations and responsibilities but i know you mean well. I won't promise perfection, but i'll try for the better.
Worry less, okay. And oh, i won't be gallivanting around with different boys every weekend. Good God, what were you two thinking? I hardly date, sheesh.
And since i'm at it, why not come clean as well yeah? I'm antisocial by nature and nurture. I'm sorely introverted, and my parents restrict my social activities. So much that i can't be bothered to even care to protest. So if i decline your invitation for a class reunion or gathering or a simple get-together or a lunch date or anything of that nature, please do just zippit and keep your questions in okay.
I can't please my parents, peers and myself all at the same time. It's just mind-boggling.
fara // 23:41
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